Rodent King 

Cuisine: Fast Food
Litterbox cleanliness : Excellent 
Reservations: No
Toilet water license: Yes
No-catnip section: Yes
Price: $

Were usually loathe to review fast food restaurant chains, but Rodent King is such an unusual dining experience -- a triumphant blend of style and technology -- we just HAD to cover it.   

The first thing youll notice about Rodent King is the slick Art Deco design of its establishments.  The next thing is the fact that the restaurants are completely automated --  RK is staffed by robot dogs decked out in bellhop-style bright green uniforms. Each dogbot also sports an appropriate goofy look and low IQ. Nice touch!

When you walk in the door, the greeter dogbot offers to shake paws, and asks for you order. The dogbot inputs your choices on an electronic tablet, then beams your choice to the kitchen, which is located in the middle of the restaurant so everyone can enjoy the food preparation. Finally, the dogbot  hands you a digital placard and directs you to your table where you can watch the miracle of automation unfold.

We ordered the Big Rat Fajita Wrap with a side of flies and a 16-ounce glass of sparkling vanilla toilet water. Within seconds after we placed our order, a mechanical paw flew into action and yanked a frozen rat by the tail from the fridge, then inserted it onto a grill for browning and cooking. Meanwhile, another mechanical paw emptied a pre-measured batch of freshly electrocuted flies into a bubbling deep fryer. Then, in a brilliantly choreographed move,  three other mechanical paws simultaneously rolled the main course into a thin wrapper filled with RKs house sauce and fixings, flipped our flies into a small bowl, flushed a glass with our toilet water drink, and placed the entire order onto a tray.  A mobile server dogbot then homed in on our electronic placard, delivered the food to our table, and invited us to press his bellybutton for a choice of ketchup, mustard, mayo, and pickles. Once we had our condiments, we said, in unison, Gooood Dawg, and the mechanical bowzer rolled over and went about waiting on other tables.

No, RK may not serve the most healthful food on the planet. But for a unique high-tech dining experience on the cheap, you simply cant beat it! 



 


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