House of Bugs

Cuisine: Tex-Mex
Litterbox cleanliness: good
Reservations: not accepted
Toilet water license: yes
No-catnip section: no
Price: $$$

Santa Fe's hottest new bistro, the House of Bugs, is buzzing - literally and figuratively. You'll find more insects there than in the Amazon rain forest. And the best part is that, for the price of admission, you'll get to watch the bugs sizzle right before your eyes.

Each table and booth (both are available, depending on your preference and the number of felines in your party) is equipped with a hanging electric bug zapper that delivers the freshest cooked fare of the day. A control panel resembling an old-fashioned jukebox allows you to choose insect cooking settings ranging from rare to well done (careful - if you turn on too much juice, your dinner will be vaporized).

Waiters pad around the restaurant pushing carts filled with a fabulous assortment of marinades, sauces, and seasonings that you place in the bottom of the bug zapper; when the bugs hit the grid, they're automatically smothered in condiments. This cooking method is lighter than grilling, and every bit as tasty. Bug fat rises to the top of the zapper and is instantly rerouted down the spout. The congealed grease then attracts more insects, which are then zapped for the next patrons, and the process continues. To further ensure a supply of fresh food, troughs under the tables are constantly restocked with fresh manure and dead rodents (the honor system applies -- keep your paws off the mice!).

We recommend the delicious honey-barbequed moth wings, the mango-chutney mosquito,  and curried fly ragout. When other bugs are in season, your waiter will come equipped with further suggestions. With its unique food preparation techniques, fast arrival of the meal (freshness guaranteed, or you don't pay), superb quality, and great entertainment from the live jazz band, the House of Bugs is crawling with opportunities for a wonderful evening!

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