Flushy's Pub & Dip

Cuisine: American
Litterbox cleanliness: medium
Reservations: N/A
Toilet water license: oh yes
No-catnip section: no
Price: $$ 1/2

Do you sometimes wish for a nip, even after the human valets close the lid? Well, if you live in Dallas, then you're in for a real treat.

The all new Flushy's Pub and Dip is like owning your own bottomless commode.  Open 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, you can always stop by to whet your whistle.

Human attendants escort you to the commode of your choice, and lift the lid. You can then press buttons to select from six flavors of sparkling toilet water, including Mountain Pew, Puke-a-Cola, Bubbly Cherry Mouser, Crystal Spring Crustacean, Garbachino, and Orange Globs.

If you're hungry, your waiter will let you dip into a central pool shaped like - you guessed it - another potty seat. This one is filled with tropical fish of all shapes, hues, and sizes.  On the night we indulged, our catch included some very expensive Koi goldfish. However, we had to catch them ourselves. The human valets, it turned out, were too busy opening lids for other patrons to pay attend to our needs. We did NOT appreciate getting our fur wet. Moreover, when we jokingly asked if there were any piranhas in the tank, they didn't find our wisecrack very funny. What this joint boasts in terms of décor and themes it lacks in a sense of humor - it's far too self-absorbed.

Nonetheless, we wouldn't flush away the whole idea of dining out at the Flushy's Pub and Dip that quickly. After all, there's a tank of fun to be had during every trip. So keep the lid up, and we'll see you there.

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