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. . . Jerusalem from a cat named Simeone. "Mama Mothball," wrote Simeone, "it is snowing here in Jerusalem, and I just thought you ought to know."
Naturally, Mama Mothball was concerned enough to call Simeone and let her know that cats who live in deserts do not know the difference between snow and dandruff that sometimes falls from the hair of a very tall human, but Simeone had the audacity to defend her position. "No, Mama Mothball, really, it is snowing out! If you come to Jerusalem, you will see for yourself!" she claimed.
Mama Mothball, however, will not be tricked into traveling to see snow fall in the desert because she is an intrepid reporter and knows better than to fall for hoaxes such as that one. However, this Morning Hairball reporter is deeply concerned because, not long ago, a Los Angeles-based fur called to tell her that it was snowing in her backyard. "Mama Mothball," claimed Bobby da Bengal Booshay, who is the Los Angeles-based cat in question, "it is snowing in my backyard!"
What worries this Morning Hairball reporter is that, all of a sudden, cats everywhere think they can trick her into believing things that aren't true. And, if all of her news tips are hoaxes, then her column will deteriorate in quality and, eventually, her furry readers will go elsewhere for their news and entertainment, and then, utlimately, she will be out of a job.
That is what really and truly worries this Morning Hairball reporter.
So do Mama Mothball a favor, furry readers. If you live in a desert or another such place with a tropical climate, then please do not write or telephone the Morning Hairball offices to let Mama Mothball know that it is snowing. She will not believe you, and you wouldn't want her furry daughers, Mimi Mothball and Merry Mothball, to have to worry about their Mama Mothball's job, now would you?